About Us

DebbieCreativeKrate

When I had my first child, I can’t even begin to tell you all the advice I got from friends, from family, from random strangers on the bus who “just knew” what I was going to go through, what I would experience. I was frazzled. I had so much information and so little actual knowledge. I didn’t know what to do or what to expect–what one source said was the exact opposite as another source. The books didn’t even agree with each other!

For the first little while, I was terrified, as all parents are, of “screwing up my kids.”

I struggled. I tried to balance each and every opinion with equal consideration. I felt like I should have been able to outsmart any toddler, including my own genius children. I wasn’t.

I didn’t know what to do. What worked with one of my children rarely worked with the others. What “experts” suggested did nothing but leave me and my kids frustrated and upset. I tried everything.

Or, at least, I thought I had.

Then I stopped listening to these so-called or self-proclaimed “experts.” I realized most people don’t actually know how to raise children–they just did whatever their parents did, and if it didn’t work they thought it was because they weren’t doing something right, or that there was something wrong with them or with their children.

I needed to do something different, something that helped me and my children, with the best resources I had: my head, my gut, and my heart.

The problem with our current perception of “parenting” is that it removes the parent and the child from truly understanding one another. We’re expected to find some secret formula that works for any and every child in the world. That just can’t happen. Instead of trying to fit my kids into the formula everyone else was trying to use, I decided to take a chance and do something different: I didn’t use any formula at all.

What I learned was astounding. By spending quality time with each of my children–and I mean real quality time, where I sat down and actually interacted with my children individually–I realized how different each of my children was from the others. Every one of them had their own unique skills, fears, and ways of learning. Some of my children responded beautifully to sticker charts, while others were very motivated by allowance-for-chore systems. They all grew and learned together, though individually, receiving treatment that was specially tailored to them.

When I stopped trying to put my kids into this imaginary box, I was astounded by them. They have all grown and developed in ways I never imagined, and best of all, my relationships with all of them are stone solid.

That’s why, when my eldest asked me to come on board here at CreativeKrate to help people understand my take to parenting, I couldn’t say no.

–Deb