Dealing With Those Tough “Stages?” It Will Pass.

Posted by on Apr 4, 2013 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Dealing With Those Tough “Stages?” It Will Pass.

Nothing lasts forever. Specifically, childhood is not forever.

I have a very close friend who once told me his three-year-old daughter was going to be the ruin of his marriage and of his sanity. She screamed. She screamed all morning while everyone else was trying to get ready for the day. She screamed about something she wanted and wasn’t getting. She screamed about what food was (or wasn’t) for dinner. She screamed to the point she ruined everyone else’s mood.

My friend took her to every doctor they could think of, but she was perfectly healthy. They didn’t know what to do. Everyone in the family was extremely stressed. He and his wife were fighting, their other child irritable. They had no idea what to do.

At the time, I had almost no advice to give him. What in the world would you do? I felt so bad for the family, but I was very young then, and about all I knew to do was worry about them.

I visited them three months later, anxious to see how they were doing. When I asked them about the screaming, all they said was this:

“What screaming?”

As quickly as their daughter had started keeping the whole family up and annoyed, she had quitted down and became the most placid, even-tempered toddler ever. What had my friends done to solve this massive problem?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It had just been a “stage” she’d been going through, and it simply passed on its own. Now their daughter is on her way to Stanford University. Wow!

This happens a lot. Kids go through “stages.” We all hear about them, but we don’t know how to handle them until we face them ourselves. Many of them are relatively harmless, like deciding they don’t like certain foods or insisting on wearing the same pair of socks every day. Others, like the screaming, aren’t so painless.

Another common stage children frequently experience around two or three years old is biting. What we have to understand is that biting is a kind of communication and not always meant to be an act of violence. Try to figure out what your child is trying to accomplish through biting and meet that need, if possible, before the behavior takes place.

Refusing to eat is another common stage that is not only frustrating but frightening. Usually you can get through this simply by providing the most nutritious foods your child likes and making sure that these foods are always available. They’ll eat when they’re hungry.

Whatever the behaviour issue is, it’s likely that it is only a stage, hopefully a short one, and It won’t last forever.

Work the problem, make sure there isn’t a medical issue, and have faith that this too will pass!

Deb

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